Sunseekers in Devon, 2008
Posted Monday, June 2, 2008
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Sunseekers 102 (Woodward 41, Carpenter 22, Downes 22, Lucas 5-10)
Halberton Club 103-0 (Yes 0. S Diggle 49 not out, A Cork 49 not out)
Steve Lucas thinks we won't rush to put this one on the website, so here it is, Steve. After cruising to 90-2, with Kevin in remarkably fluent nick, the tourists crumbled in the face of the cunning swing of Mr Lucas, not to mention the cunning swing of the balls he was bowling.
Young Tom managed to walk about three steps into the offside to be bowled first ball behind his legs, young Sam skied the first catch of Kels' life to mid-on and the mighty Seekers disappeared quicker than Stuart heading to the woods for a cr@p.
When Halberton's finest replied, the ball disappeared even quicker into the woods, as if in search of Stuart's foul deposit.
Shall I be charitable? Yes, why not. The Halberton boys owed us this one and you could not say that they didn't deserve the victory to be every bit as conclusive as it was.
(That said, having coughed up my fine, you are still a spawny f*cker, Diggle. Sorry, Spawny bald old f*cker). But well batted.
And thanks to Pete Williams, honorary Sunseeker, a man from Derby who just happened to be visiting Lucas that weekend and found himself guesting for a cricket team from Derby he'd never met before. Late in the evening, back at Halberton Club, Mr Williams, who I had initially taken to be a sophisticated sort of chap, provided a sporting champagne moment when he overcame his host at pool and emerged from the club, punching the air, to declare to the whole village: "Lucas: W*nker!!"
CC
Sunseekers 109 (Carpenter 47)
Heathcoat CC Rugby Drinkers 110-5 (Crawford 2-about 10)
The middle order disappeared faster than the awesome barmaid in The Stag at Rackenford can change a barrel. Believe me, it was quick.
It didn't get much better, with the middle order again disappearing, this time faster than the awesome barmaid in The Stag at Rackenford can change a barrel. And believe me, if you were there, it was quick. The draught from the swirl of her skirt was still circling the bar when she was back to pull my Tawny. I digress. And I wanted to.
Honorary Sunseeker Will Diggle Esq played some delightful shots in his 13 and Carpo dug in grimly but, again, the score was inadequate and the two massive sixes quickly despatched by the sturdy Heathcoat opener soon told us the second hammering of the tour was on the way.
When he and then the other opener retired upon reaching 25, we were offered some slightly more normal batsmen to get at, whereupon a semblance of respect was re-discovered along with the five wickets that went down.
It was still another early finish though. Despite my own two wickets, give me the choice and I'll take the hammering from Halberton any day.
Truth is, in cricketing terms and no disrespect to the guys on the trip, we were not strong enough this time around, not least since there were ultimately only nine of us. My thanks to Paul Downes and Jim Taylor, who made special trips for only one of the games each, and to all my fellow tourists.
The great thing is that, socially, it was as good as any tour I've been on. So my thanks also to the Brokeback Mountain Boys, Charlie Dimmock, John McCrirrick, The Judge and The Vegetable! You had to be there.
Did we have fun? Is the Pope a Catholic? Do Stuarts sh*t in the woods?
CC
NEW! Just for the record, Carpo was appointed The Judge for the tour, a role last taken by the legendary Andy Parkes, and made a pretty good job of it. Here is his list of fines after sentencing on Saturday night:
2008 Tour - Day 1 Fine List (fine amount not included to protect the innocent)
Downes
Poor Charlie Dimmock Impression
Trying to eat a brand new Matchball
Sibson
Buying batting gloves over the Internet
Accepting match fees at breakfast
Woodward
Not climbing en route
Not Walking Prior to the game
Carpenter
Ignoring the Sat Nav
Paying Match fees at breakfast
Jennings
Being a “Brokeback Mountain” Boy
Strolling off to point to get out of the way of a straight one
Taylor S
Being a “Brokeback Mountain” Boy
Having Pornographic Images on his mobile
Mogie
Headbutting the Digs without provocation
Falling asleep during the pre-match warm up
Crawford
Belching, Belching again
And again.......
Walters S
Being a vegetable
The bear Impression
Pete Williams
Going on tour without telling anyone
Staying with Steve Lucas
